THE CHILD IS A COMPLETE BEING
What needs do you try to parent?
Do you parent the whole child?
If not, then where is your focus?
WHO IS A CHILD?
Developmental psychologists tell us that the child is a developing human being : one who develops biologically, neurologically, cognitively, emotionally, and socially through defined phases of growth.
These phases of growth are infancy, childhood and adolescence.
At all these stages, the parent[s] or primary caregiver[s] plays a crucial role in development. Their very presence or absence influence the child. The values they teach, the opportunities they give their children, and the manner in which they discipline the child – all affect the relative maturity of the person as an adult.
People need their parents at adulthood, too; but it is not with the same intensity or urgency as when they are growing so dramatically, as they do till adolescence.
Parents change the style of their caregiving as a baby grows into a toddler, a child, and finally a teenager.
The style also differs with each child. Child and parent thus influence the other; and as one grows, so does the other. The difference is, that the child’s growth is easier to notice than the parent’s!According to ancient wisdom in India, children have a deep inner wisdom. However, they have to spend their childhood in gaining knowledge from a teacher, or guru. They are in the first of four stages of life, which is called Brahmacharya-ashram. This is the time to gain intellectual and physical strength, “learn correct behavior, self- control, art of developing a pure mind, and the duties of man and the proper relationship between you, your family, your society and the world”, said Swami Vivekananda.
WHAT NEEDS DO YOU TRY TO PARENT?
What are the Child’s Needs?
Abraham Maslow, the famous psychologist, gave a structure to various human needs . The wonder of his theory is that he described the order in which humans try to satisfy these needs. Lower level needs dominate in the urgency with which they motivate a person to take action to satisfy them. Once satisfied, the need subsides, and a higher-level need takes over.
Maslow’s Pyramid Hierarchy of Needs
It seems common-sense to believe that a hungry person [lowest-level biological need] would first try to assuage hunger before, say looking for shelter [safety/security] or making friends.
Or that we would try to realize our potential [self-actualization] if we first have self-esteem.
How well does the heirarchy hold for people who are mystics or yogis?
What about a starving mother who feeds her child first?
What about children who are picky eaters? Who are very social but have low self-esteem? Or those who over-eat and are loners?
We need to see the importance of knowing the needs of our children and ourselves.
How well do we know these needs and energies inside us?
How well do we know them in our children?
Which level of the needs does the parent control?
THE CHAKRAS
Chakras, or wheels, are like energy fields within our consciousness. They are not physical, but are located around physical parts of the body, and influence our physical, mental, emotional and psychological state.
It is interesting to see how the chakras correspond to the widely-used Maslow’s pyramid of needs.
As we can see, the chakras extend to levels beyond Maslow’s heirarchy. TOP
DO YOU PARENT THE WHOLE CHILD?
Where is your main focus as a parent? How do you assess that your child
is “growing well?” If s/he is happy? Tall? Intelligent?
Getting good grades at school? Popular? Good at sports? Helpful? Kind? TOP
©Meenakshi Suri
Journey Into Wholeness 